My Mid-day rant

I have lived in a world of thin people all my life. Even those considered "fat" to most, look thin to me. As I surf and read others blogs, I am amazed. Amazed by myself and everyone else that has ever been called FAT. When did it become ok to make fun of people that are fat? When did being overweight become the one thing that society can sneer, laugh, and point at, without anyone saying "that is not ok"? Why do we, as overweight people, men and woman alike, decide that because we are fat it is fine that sue down the street snickers and laughs every time you walk by? Why do we allow those around us, as insignificant as they are, to hurt us so deeply with a look or a comment? People that are strangers to us dictate who we feel we are. Why? WHy? WHY??? For the first time ever I am angry. Angry at me, for allowing those around me to dictate who I felt I was inside. Seeing me walking down the street does not make you a sudden expert on who I am. Just because all you SEE is a woman who is overweight, and suddenly feel that is some how funny, does NOT make me any less of a Mother, Daughter, Sister, Wife or friend. Who the HELL are you mister and misses funny pants, to laugh at me? Are there no little insecurities that you have that would mortify you if you were laughed at about? See, here is the thing, everyone has something that they don't like about themselves, but for us, the fat, obese, cow like, huge, whatever oh so brilliant term the uneducated and ignorant can come up with, our sensitive issue, our insecurity, our “dirty little secret" is on the outside for everyone to see. It isn't something we can hide, we can't just tuck it away in the deepest darkest hallway of our subconscious and leave it there, we have to see it every single day. We wake up with our hidden shame thrown into our faces. Why do we feel this way? Why is it so shameful? Now there is the obvious, health, but there IS such a thing as a healthy overweight person. Up until my early twenties, I was a very healthy individual. I was dealing with depression yes, but I was physically healthy. Then I had my second pregnancy, gained more weight, and started having other health problems, things I would most likely not have to deal with if I were eating healthy. Not even if I were thin, but if I were leading a healthier lifestyle, including not smoking. So if I were a healthy overweight person, why is that bad? Why does that then say ok you can be mean to me because I am fat? We fight each and every day for freedom in this country. We fight for equal rights, we fight for equality in the workplace and within our government, we fight against prejudice for anyone, regardless of race, creed or color, why not weight? Why do we not deserve equal rights to be treated as a human being because we are overweight. Come on now, we are no less of a person based on the number on the scale. In this country racist jokes are frowned upon, gay jokes are frowned upon, religious jokes are frowned upon, but fat jokes, well fat jokes are free game in this place. That is not OK, I am no longer willing to sit there and be ridiculed, pointed at, laughed at because of my size. Screw you if you feel that you are somehow better than me because you are thin. Don't look my way and snicker anymore people, because I will tell you something, I am no longer going to cower away and ignore you, I am going to stand up, look you straight in the face, and let you know that it is NOT ok!!

Comments

[Christi Nielsen]

Lisa says: "For all the talk you hear about the growth of inclusive definitions of beauty....Hogwash! Our society still idolizes sickly thin women who look malnourished and unhealthy."

This is so true. Entertainment news is now so concerned about dangerously thin celebrities, but in the same breath, they also say that - tsk, tsk - Mariah Carey is "not at her thinnest!"

[Mercy]

You know I was skinny before kids. I use to know what it was like to have men falling to my feet.

Now, I'm scared to even loose the weight, in fear that I'll be skinny, but never find someone that truly loves me "for me" and not just the fact I'm some skinny bitch he can tote around.

I totally agree that society is mean to fat people. They tend to blame them, it's your fault you didn't take care of yourself, therefore it gives me every right to beat you down and make you feel worthless.

In a sense they are right.

But the human thing to do, isn't to shove it in people's faces.

And I haven't found very many humans to "want" to be friends with.

[Jesse]

Heather,

You're right about everything you say. The only problem is, it's more difficult to lose the weight if you let the ignorance of others get to you. That just makes you more depressed, which makes you eat. I used to be almost 400 lbs. When I got to the point where I didn't care at all what others thought, it made it easier to lose the weight. I can't say I never cared at all, but I learned to let it bounce off of me, knowing that the only person I could change was myself.

Certainly stand up for yourself and don't let anyone put you down, but at the same time try not to let it discourage you. When you do that, you're letting them win.

Just my opinion. Good luck with everything.

- Jesse

[Lisa]

I am so with you. I have been every weight, so I have experienced the difference in peoples' reactions to me at varying sizes. Weight discrimination is one of the few "acceptable" prejudices left in this society, and it most certainly IS NOT acceptable!!! For all the talk you hear about the growth of inclusive definitions of beauty....Hogwash! Our society still idolizes sickly thin women who look malnourished and unhealthy. When are we going to get to a point where we can honestly accept that people come in all sizes and shapes and colors? I am 6 feet tall, and have about 30 pounds I'd like to lose, but that's up to me to decide - Not anyone else. We can't control how other people act, but we CAN control our responses to it. Refuse to accept that kind of behavior - You deserve better.

Lisa

[Sam Krupa]

Interesting..

[DeAnn]

I completely agree with you. No one seems to mind when people are discriminated against for being overweight. They consider it laziness or a choice, when in fact, it's usually neither of those things.

Thanks for the rant! Sometimes you need to say those things -- for yourself and for all of us.

[ms ralph]

I've felt that way so many times. I know exactly how you feel.

[razz]

I love your passion, Heather. And I completely agree with you. It's something the women in my family have struggled with for generations and I'm amazed at the lack of ground gained in society. Years and years and it never changes.

Keep up that passion. It's beautiful.

[AyEnDeeAreEeAyAitch]

Oh man! YOU GO GIRL!!

Fuck those dudes!!